I won't put on an act for you, Saying words I don't mean. I mostly feel numb, Uncertain. I wake up and I wonder Why I don't shine. But I do for some. Our little son Thinks I am everything. Tells us every day. "I love you". And as I leave for work, Even our teenager tells me. Is how you love me enough? If I can't love myself? I don't know the answer But through everything We try to be there For each other.
My mind is glue and magazines A collage of memory. I can't help but live in the past. Thinking of mountains I didn't climb. And how you never answered me back. Ghosted. Then gone. I've been a ghost so often. Fading into walls. Unnoticed. Sometimes I think about the future. Planting ghosts before they're even gone. My present is just auto pilot. Can't glue it down. Can't decide on the right images or words. Days are too fast. I can't help but live in the past.
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